Workout Journal – 3/31/17 – Legs and m’fing Back
I do not like this workout.
With every fiber of my being.
Why? Because I struggle with it. So why do I do it? Because when you suck at a workout it’s usually because that’s the one you need to do the most. Back when I hated Kenpo X it was all because I was so uncoordinated I found doing the workout humiliating. It made me painfully aware of how out of shape and messed up my body was.
With Legs & Back I feel weak. I feel weak when I have to shave reps off or hit the pause button. When my heart rate slams against my limit and I have to pause, sit down and catch my breath I stare at the floor and I’m angry at myself. I’m angry because I let things slide to where they are now. I’m angry because of the inevitability of getting older and being less capable of using my body the way I want to, regardless of how much effort I put into slowing that process down.
It doesn’t feel good to face things about yourself that aren’t going the way you want them to. As has been said by many people, many times – getting older is not for sissies.
Tony talks a good game though. I let his words – aging is for idiots – ring out in my head. Yes, it’s not realistic to expect to be as strong and capable as I was at 40 now that I’m 50, and legs & back makes me feel like I’m already headed for a wheelchair and pair of Depends, but I did it. I finished the workout and I know that means I’ll be stronger tomorrow than I was yesterday.