At last, a cure for nitwittery…

According to this story, German scientists have developed an [tag]anti-stupidity pill[/tag].

On the face of it, sounds like a great thing.  No more people driving while talking on the phone (or watching movies on their in-car DVD players), sales of [tag]hip-hop[/tag] and [tag]Britney Spears[/tag] CD’s plummet, so-called [tag]reality TV[/tag] disappears, giant urban assault vehicles no longer roam the roads, facial piercings go completely out of style, the [tag]NRA[/tag] and the [tag]Church of Scientology[/tag] lose all their membership, [tag]George W. Bush[/tag] is impeached and removed from office… I could go on and on.  But the thing is, if you wipe out stupidity in the world, at this point you’d have economic cataclysm.

It’s really scary to think about, but most of our culture is not just stupid, it’s flat out retarded.  What’s the most popular sport in the land?  Football, a game that rarely involves a foot touching a ball, played by overgrown man-mountains who briefly crash into one another and accomplish mostly nothing.  It’s a very militaristic game that most closely resembles the action on an ancient battlefield, minus the spears and scimitars.  Way dumb.

Our entire industrial economy is propelled by the automobile, a noisy, dangerous, polution-spewing conveyance that has become so ubiquitous in America that its presence has radically altered our landscape.  Heck, all the paving we’ve done to accomodate auto travel has probably altered the climate of the planet as much as all the soot cars and trucks have coughed out in the past 100 years by collecting heat and trapping it near the ground, altering rain run-off patterns and elimimating space for trees and other plants to grow.

Then there’s the whole medical industrial complex – the pharmaceuticals and nutriceuticals industries would wither and die if people were smart enough to realize that most of the drugs they take do them either no good at all or actually cause more harm than good.  The irony here is so thick you could cut it with a knife – some big pharma conglomerate is going to market this anti-stupid pill, it will take off like gangbusters and within a few years the same company will be bankrupt because they can’t sell anymore anti-baldness creams, erection supplements or diet pills.

And then there’s me.  What the hell would I write about if there was a marked decrease in roving bands of nitwits?  I say ban this pill before it’s too late.

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