Unfortunately, phone sanitizers will still be around…

If you read [tag]Douglas Adams[/tag]’ series of [tag]Hitchhiker’s Guide[/tag] books you probably remember the [tag]”B” Ark[/tag] vividly – a spaceship filled with hairdressers, phone sanitizers, advertising executives, and other folks whose occupations were, shall we say, less than completely necessary.

So, today, FastCompany ran a piece on Six Jobs That Won’t Exist in 2016. Here’s the list for those of you who are link-averse:

  1. [tag]Gatekeepers[/tag] – [tag]A&R guys[/tag] at record companies, [tag]TV schedulers[/tag], [tag]Wall Street Researchers[/tag], cool hunters (that probably means trendspotters).
  2. [tag]Bloggers[/tag] – people get paid for this?
  3. [tag]Advertising creatives[/tag]
  4. [tag]Auto mechanics[/tag] – this was obviously written by someone who thinks their car’s engine has been transformed into a microchip, not gonna happen
  5. [tag]U.S. High Tech Jobs[/tag]
  6. [tag]Indian Call-Center Operators[/tag]

I agree with most of the list. I think the auto mechanic prediction is way off. Even in the most high end, super-techy cars out there on the market today the baseline components are mechanical and will require service. These folks obviously think that by 2016 we’ll have cars that don’t need to have their tires rotated or brake jobs. They’re wrong.

I agree with #6 the most. The experiment at [tag]off-shoring[/tag] customer support/service call centers is an unqualified disaster. Companies who’ve kept their CSR’s in the US have gained market share and that’s more than made up for the higher salaries they’re paying.

Sadly, I also agree with #5. I said it back in 2002 and have repeated it often since then – the exodus of high tech work from [tag]Sillicon Valley[/tag] isn’t a temporary slump, it’s the equivalent of the exodus of heavy manufacturing jobs in the auto industry from Michigan in the 1980s. Those jobs are never coming back, and with good reason. [tag]India[/tag], [tag]Korea[/tag], [tag]Indonesia[/tag] and [tag]China[/tag] are producing better skilled tech workers who work for a lot less money.

Gatekeepers and Advertising Creatives are “B” Ark residents. A&R men are the scum of the earth who serve no purpose. They were purposeless when the recording industry and 20th century music distribution model still made sense. With that distribution model and entire business disintegrating at a steady clip these folks will be moving back in with their parents very soon. I hope mom and dad give them a big allowance because these turds have never understood how to earn money and their used to leeching off of someone.

TV schedulers are already mostly irrelevent. I didn’t realize how much so until I got my [tag]Tivo[/tag] for Xmas. It’s fairly easy to see that it’s only a matter of a very short time before all TV programming is delivered in an on-demand fashion. Once that happens networks will be more like online video rental stores and scheduling will be a thing of the past.

As for Advertising Creatives… more pond scum. I worked for two companies who employed these amoebas and I’ve never been around lazier and less intelligent people in any other situation, which is saying a lot since I’ve also been a musician for most of my life. If you manage to be more shiftless, self-absorbed and socially worthless than the singer in a rock band, well, you’re a pretty amazing creature. I’d also suggest that we need to restrict your ability to breed.

I did my own time on the “B” Ark. I worked for a large business publishing company for a little over 8 years. It was very sobering to realize that the business I worked for could go up in flames without a trace and no one would miss it. Even better, if we ceased to exist many forests would remain standing. I really hope I don’t ever end up in that situation again. At the very least I’m not taking up TV Scheduling as a vocation any time soon.

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