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Now it starts to get interesting…

March 28th, 2006 by TEX

You know what?  I hate Spring Training.  Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed going to Phoenix a couple of years ago to see some of my favorite players and teams in action in small ballparks and even getting to chat with a few of them.  What I hate is that Spring Training has been turned by MLB marketing folks into a kind of pre-season, like they have in the NFL.  People actually pay attention to who wins and loses in Spring Training now and most of the games are packed with spectators.

What’s baffling about this is that Spring Training games are not managed by coaches to win.  They’re managed to get a good look at as many players as they can, work out the kinks and get the big stars warmed up and limber (and hopefully not injured) in time for opening day.

So, I’ll be glad in a week or so when it’s over and we can get down to real baseball.  But one thing I do like about this last week of Spring Training is how the sports media suddenly start to pay attention to the greatest game in the universe.  You see some hilarious and brilliant stories.  So far my fave is this one about Roger Clemens’ rather questionable practice of rubbing his crotch with Icy Hot before he suits up.

I’ll wait for your brain to catch up with that one.

Uh huh.

No, I’m not kidding.

Roger Clemens rubs Icy Hot on his frank and beans before pitching a game.

The men in the audience can now run screaming from the room in horror.  I once put aftershave on my balls when I was a teenager.  I was in agony for an hour.  If I even accidentally got Icy Hot on my business I’d probably shoot myself.

So, what’s Roger’s logic here?  He doesn’t want to get comfortable when he’s pitching.  Alrighty then.  Ok.  Yup.  Roger, you’re a wingnut.

You know who is more of a wingnut?  Jake Peavey.  Peavey heard of Roger’s pre-game prep ritual and decided to try it.

Dooooooood!

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Ok, I still hate the Red Sox, but…

March 28th, 2006 by TEX

Baseball gets a bad rap for being a “boring” sport. If I had a dime for every golf-lover who told me baseball was boring, well, I’d have a heck of a lot of dimes, pal. I will always fondly remember the time I was sitting in Bongo Burger in Berkeley with a Giants game on one TV and an A’s game on the other and a child, a boy of probably 10 or 11, at another table whines to his mother, who is paying completely rapt attention to the Giants game and has probably made him sit there a bit too long, “I hate baseball. Baseball is boring.” To which the wisest mom in the land replied, “Only if you’re stupid.”

I could not agree more. Kids, particularly boys, these days tend to equate excitement with violence, or at least lots of constant running around. This is why so many of them love Football, a game I find about as interesting as watching a corpse rot. Baseball is typically rather bereft of violence. That is, unless you are Julian Tavarez.

Tavarez, who was released by the Cardinals and signed with the Red Sox, clocked Joey Gathright yesterday after Gathright spiked him sliding into home with Tavarez covering the plate. I remember when Tavarez was plying his trade as a reliever for the Giants a few years back. He was high on my list of professional athletes I never wanted to run into in a bar or a dark alley. The dude’s loco. This, of course, has made him an instant hit with Red Sox fans.

If he gets this wound up during Spring Training you just have to wonder how far into the season he has to go before going postal.

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My faves - part 1…

March 21st, 2006 by TEX

So, this idea struck me that instead of just random mixes of songs to make up a Podcast playlist I’d share a snapshot of my favorite artists with the world.

Here’s the first installment - AC/DC.

Never has there been a greater hard rock band. Period. Do not argue this point with me. I will simply ignore you. Instead, dowload, listen and enjoy:

  1. I Put The Finger On You
  2. Little Lover
  3. Problem Child
  4. Gone Shootin’
  5. High Voltage (live)
  6. Let Me Put My Love Into You

And please folks, spare me your judgments about including Brian Johnson-era stuff here. I will not hear you.

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Almost there… stay on target…

March 20th, 2006 by TEX

The WBC concludes tonight with a game between Cuba and Japan. Let’s dispense with the hooting and rubbarbs in the general direction of Team USA right away - you guys suck. Ok, now that’s out of the way I really can’t begin to describe how happy I am with this final matchup. Cuba and Japan were the first places that we Americans exported our national pastime to so it’s really only fitting that these two teams should meet in the first WBC championship game. I give a big edge to the Japanese team, but can’t count out those scrappy Cubans. Besides, the Cuban team easily has the best uniforms of the whole tournament.

Once the WBC is done we’ll only be a couple of weeks away from Opening Day of the MLB season. I have high hopes for the A’s this year, but that’s usually the case. In fact, I think the 2005 season was the only time in recent memory that I didn’t go into the season expecting big things from my home team.

That having been said the A’s are still, unfortunately, saddled with one of the most clueless managers in the game, the odious and unfortunate Ken Macha. I wish my feelings about Macha could be classified as an irrational hate-on. Nope. He’s a dunderhead who makes patently illogical moves - everything from pulling pitchers who are obviously grooving to leaving guys with no control (like Rincon in the 2004 campaign or Juan Cruz in the early days of last season) in to pitch to monsterous ball destroyers like Edgar Martinez or Manny Ramirez - all because the computer-generated stats on his clipboard say it makes sense.

What any baseball fan worth his/her salt should have learned from the last few World Series champions is that it’s not managers with big clipboards full of data who win the big games. It’s guys like Ozzie Guillen who pay attention to what’s going on in the actual game in front of them who make the right decisions and don’t get in the way of the players who can make a difference.

But hating Ken Macha is done with a lot more wit (and actually quite a bit of toe-curling profanity) over at Ken Macha Is A Moron & I Hate Him with brilliant posts like today’s. Today’s opening sentences are just perfect:

Some guys get to dream of Jessica Alba bending over for some doggy style sex. Me? I dream of Rich Harden.

I don’t think that makes me gay.

See? Genius is what that is.

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The beginning of an end of an era, and it’s about damned time…

March 14th, 2006 by TEX

So, Northwest Airlines announced today that they’re going to begin charging extra for aisle seats and seats on the exit aisle.  Not surprising really.  None of the major airlines is doing well financially.  Most blamed 9/11/01 for their financial troubles but that’s a shabby excuse.  The real reason that the major US carriers can’t make ends meet is that they’ve got too many planes in the air, too many people in their employ in the form of pilots, flight attendants, ticket agents and maintenance workers and too much money sunk into facilities.  That all adds up to loads and loads of expenses and the current airline business model just will not support a profitable enterprise.

What’s sad is the airlines choosing to deal with their financial troubles by nickle and diming their customers.  First they started charging for meals.  Fine.  No problem.  Your food stinks anyway.  If I know I have a choice between buying the filth you serve and buying food to bring with me on the flight I’ll choose the latter and probably be better off for it.  Then they began charging you if you wanted to actually speak to a customer service agent.  Um, ok, I see the point here.  It’s shitty, but it makes sense.  Maintaining a lot of customer service reps to man the phones 24 hours a day is expensive, and probably better than 80% of travelers not only don’t need personal service, they don’t want it.  They’d rather just go online and take care of things themselves.

Today’s announcement is really pushing it though.  And industry analysts are saying this is just the beginning.  Next the airlines will charge you to check baggage, on a per bag basis.  Can breathable oxygen surcharges be far off?

What the airlines really need to do is is recognize that the era of air travel being as commonplace as walking to the corner store is over.  Businesses are using communications technology instead of travel to get things done and with the middle class ever shrinking the days of entire families hopping on a plane to fly to the other side of the country or out of the country for a vacation are on their way out.  By putting fewer planes in the air, flying out of fewer airports the airlines can justify jacking up fares much higher, can go back to providing decent service to their customers and, hopefully, concentrate on making air travel truly safer than it has been since Reagan effectively deregulated the industry.

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Why team USA are getting their clocks cleaned in the WBC…

March 14th, 2006 by TEX

Team USA are embarassing to watch. Last night they got their proverbial asses handed to them by the Koreans. In the first round of the Classic they got thumped by the Canadians. And in the first game of the current round they only won by virtue of an extremely bad call on the part of the umps. Lots of people are watching and saying to themselves, “hey, what’s going on here?”

It’s a valid question. Not only does Team USA feature heavyweight players like Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Jason Varitek and Johnny Damon but, well, there’s just no getting around this, baseball was invented here. So what’s going on?

The first and most obvious problem is the manager. Buck Martinez stank as a manager in the big leagues and he stinks as the manager of Team USA in the WBC. He’s made idiotic choices repeatedly, like sitting Derek Lee, Team USA’s best hitter so far, and Johnny Damon last night in favor of far lesser players. He’s managing this like a little league tournament and doesn’t seem to understand that he’s not there to get everyone a chance to play, he’s there to win.

The second problem has to do with what’s happened to baseball in the USA in the past generation or so. American baseball has become a boutique sport played by an increasingly small segment of the population. Where baseball used to be the game of the masses, played by kids every chance they got in every neighborhood across the country it is now mainly a sport of affluent, suburban kids who play only in organized leagues. Not only is the pick-up game a thing of the past, but poor and working class kids just do not play at all, partially because they lack access to facilities, like baseball fields, to play on but also because other sports have usurped baseball’s position in the big cities of America.

To put it another way, inner city black kids play basketball or football, not baseball. And the suburban kids who do play baseball play it for a small part of the year and then turn their interests to soccer, tai-kwan-do, lacrosse, (ok, small tangent here: Lacrosse? Are these kids stupid? Never was a sport more dangerous and less fun.) football and (gasp) tennis. Unless you live in the greater San Diego area baseball is just not a big deal in the US anymore.

The result of this cultural change is that the folks who do become professional baseball players come up in the sport with a huge sense of entitlement. The little leaguer in my own house is obsessed with how much baseball players make. It’s more important, I dare say, to him that Alex Rodriguez makes $25 million a year than it is that he’s one of the greatest players of his generation. His own ambitions to be a professional baseball player are never voiced in the context of how wonderful it would be to be a great and admired athlete or to make a living doing something that is so purely fun. Nope, they’re all discussed in the context of how rich he’d be.

This is why the US is getting pasted by, well, everyone. Professional baseball players from Japan, Korea, Venezuela, the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Cuba, Mexico and, dare I say it, even Canada come at the game from a different angle. Being able to live their lives as baseball players means more to them. Unlike their peers from the US these men don’t stop playing baseball once October ends. These are the people who, once the big league season is over, head for the winter leagues in the Caribean. Not one of these guys is playing like he’s worried about getting hurt. A big part of that comes from the simple fact that they’ve been playing all year and training all year. They do this because they lack the sense of entitlement their American peers carry with them that says “From November to March I’m going to sit on my ass. I’ll get ready to play in Spring Training.”

People ask why it is that Roger Clemens can still be one of the top pitchers in baseball at the age of 43. Roger shares the same committment to his sport that players from the Caribean and South America have. He trains all year. And that’s why he’ll retire soon. Not because he’s tired of playing baseball but because his committment to the game is wearing him out year round. He’s one of the few players on Team USA who has performed to the level expected of him.

So far I’ve really enjoyed the WBC, and true to my contrary nature I’m rooting for Cuba to go all the way, and I sincerely hope they do. Watching them play with all their hearts is inspiring. It’s also just damn good baseball. Watching the US team fumble it’s way along, winning only when their opponents are either feeble or when the umps help them out is painful. Unfortunately, if Team USA is eliminated before the Semis it probably spells doom for future WBC events, at least from a televised network perspective, but realistically getting them and their lolly-gagging butts out of there quickly will make the remaining games far more competitive and interesting. A final match between Japan and Cuba would be fantastic.

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Unfortunately, phone sanitizers will still be around…

March 9th, 2006 by TEX

If you read Douglas Adams’ series of Hitchhiker’s Guide books you probably remember the ”B” Ark vividly - a spaceship filled with hairdressers, phone sanitizers, advertising executives, and other folks whose occupations were, shall we say, less than completely necessary.

So, today, FastCompany ran a piece on Six Jobs That Won’t Exist in 2016. Here’s the list for those of you who are link-averse:

  1. Gatekeepers - A&R guys at record companies, TV schedulers, Wall Street Researchers, cool hunters (that probably means trendspotters).
  2. Bloggers - people get paid for this?
  3. Advertising creatives
  4. Auto mechanics - this was obviously written by someone who thinks their car’s engine has been transformed into a microchip, not gonna happen
  5. U.S. High Tech Jobs
  6. Indian Call-Center Operators

I agree with most of the list. I think the auto mechanic prediction is way off. Even in the most high end, super-techy cars out there on the market today the baseline components are mechanical and will require service. These folks obviously think that by 2016 we’ll have cars that don’t need to have their tires rotated or brake jobs. They’re wrong.

I agree with #6 the most. The experiment at off-shoring customer support/service call centers is an unqualified disaster. Companies who’ve kept their CSR’s in the US have gained market share and that’s more than made up for the higher salaries they’re paying.

Sadly, I also agree with #5. I said it back in 2002 and have repeated it often since then - the exodus of high tech work from Sillicon Valley isn’t a temporary slump, it’s the equivalent of the exodus of heavy manufacturing jobs in the auto industry from Michigan in the 1980s. Those jobs are never coming back, and with good reason. India, Korea, Indonesia and China are producing better skilled tech workers who work for a lot less money.

Gatekeepers and Advertising Creatives are “B” Ark residents. A&R men are the scum of the earth who serve no purpose. They were purposeless when the recording industry and 20th century music distribution model still made sense. With that distribution model and entire business disintegrating at a steady clip these folks will be moving back in with their parents very soon. I hope mom and dad give them a big allowance because these turds have never understood how to earn money and their used to leeching off of someone.

TV schedulers are already mostly irrelevent. I didn’t realize how much so until I got my Tivo for Xmas. It’s fairly easy to see that it’s only a matter of a very short time before all TV programming is delivered in an on-demand fashion. Once that happens networks will be more like online video rental stores and scheduling will be a thing of the past.

As for Advertising Creatives… more pond scum. I worked for two companies who employed these amoebas and I’ve never been around lazier and less intelligent people in any other situation, which is saying a lot since I’ve also been a musician for most of my life. If you manage to be more shiftless, self-absorbed and socially worthless than the singer in a rock band, well, you’re a pretty amazing creature. I’d also suggest that we need to restrict your ability to breed.

I did my own time on the “B” Ark. I worked for a large business publishing company for a little over 8 years. It was very sobering to realize that the business I worked for could go up in flames without a trace and no one would miss it. Even better, if we ceased to exist many forests would remain standing. I really hope I don’t ever end up in that situation again. At the very least I’m not taking up TV Scheduling as a vocation any time soon.

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