The Weak In Rock

I was browsing Boing Boing today and ran across this piece about a security consultant who had invented an effective auditory teenager repellent and my first thought was, “someone nominate this man for the Nobel Prize.”

Ten, maybe even five years ago my first thought would have been something like, “that’s outrageous, you can’t do that!” Oh how age changes us. Not only do I not find the idea of a sonic teenager barrier troublesome in the least, I think that there are wide applications for such brilliant technology:

• Movie theaters - place the devices in the front ten rows of the theater to reserve those seats for people who are actually there to watch the movie.
• During the holidays you could install them in department stores in the sections where the adults are trying to shop and the young hoodlums are just loitering around looking for opportunities to shoplift.
• Near benches and bollards outside of buildings. Instead of putting up those awful, unattractive barriers on things intended for use as seats so that skateboarders won’t rip them to shreds by using them for skating tricks you could install several of these devices.
• In coffee houses. Kids shouldn’t be drinking coffee in the first place. This will get rid of them so that we grown-ups can enjoy our frapuchinos in peace. This has the added side benefit of rendering employment in such establishments less attractive to kids which will generally improve the level of service we receive when we frequent them.
• On buses and commuter trains. Use them in the front of the bus and on select cars on the train so that we don’t have to deal with tomfoolery and shenanigans while commuting

This is, I’m sure, only the beginning. You could scale the device for a home version that would ensure that the kids stay out of dad’s den or workshop. A handheld version would also come in very handy.

Since the future ain’t what it used to be and we’re not going to be getting personal jetpacks or vacations on the moon any time soon, may as well use the technology we’ve got for something useful.