Nerd-osity reigns supreme…

Man, am I a geek, or a nerd or a poindexter or whatever the heck they’re calling people who obsess over computerized time-wasters these days.

My boss and one of my co-workers talked me into buying this game called City of Heroes a couple of months ago and I’m hooked. Not only am I hooked, but the stupid game has now permiated my work-life significantly. If I’d thought about it for ten seconds I would have realized this would happen. I mean, come on, I’m playing an online massively multi-player RPG with my boss and one of the leads in my department who works for me. We’re, all three of us, going online designing superheroes and playing them through the game together. About three or four times a week the three of us will be sitting in a conference room waiting for a meeting to start and jump into talking game strategies or about some new character we invented.

This is sick.

We’re diseased.

I don’t care.

This game is fun.

I always wanted to be a superhero. My personal fave when I was a kid was Batman, with Spiderman running a close second. I guess I liked the tortured-soul kind of heroes. Maybe in some self-absorbed, oh-poor-me, way I probably thought I could identify with them. How ridiculous is that. Both characters tragically lost loved-ones at the hands of filthy hoodlums and vowed to avenge the deaths by, naturally, fighting crime.

As I got older I also developed a real soft spot for the X-Men. I was particularly enamored of Nightcrawler. The way he would go *BAMF* and teleport from place to place, leaving a little bit of brimstone and smoke behind was just so cool. Besides, he had a tail and he was German. But one thing always confused me about the X-Men: Their universe is populated by all these heroes and villains who are mutants whose mutations provided them with super powers. Cyclops could shoot power blasts from his eyes. Storm had the power to control the elements. Jean Grey was telepathic and psychokinetic. Wolverine could heal himself rapidly. Likewise the villains were usually mutants with nifty powers, like Magneto who can manipulate metal through magnetic forces. How come there were never any mutants who had lame powers?

Ok, arguably Dazzler and Gambit both had pretty lame powers, but that was just the result of poor creativity on the part of the writers of the comic book. What I’m talking about is that if there were all these mutants running around wouldn’t there be plenty with really stupid powers. Like maybe we’d run into the Human Plegm, or the Flatulator. Ok, actually those would be pretty good powers. What about Staplor – gifted with the ability to remove staples effortlessly from documents. Or how about The Confectionator – imbued with the inhuman ability to manipulate cotton candy.

So, because this is the messed up way my brain works I spend about half my time on City of Heroes playing serious characters – my favorite is a guy I’ve named None More Black, who controls fire – and the other half the time I’m on there I’m messing with really silly characters I’ve made up. One silly character is called Schunk. He’s what’s called a tanker and he’s basically just very big and very stupid. Another is called Guaranteed Lawsuit – he’s a carbon copy of the Thing from the Fantastic Four, right down to the orange skin made of stone.

Like I said, I’m a geek.

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: