10/18/2004 08:13:49 PM|||TEX|||

Here's a list I came up with to respond to a Canadian friend's honest question - "Why is anyone voting for George W. Bush anyway?" I rattled off some of the biggest reasons in my usual half-serious, half-flippant way.

• Ronald Reagan "won" the Cold War
• same sex marriage will bring a rain of heavenly retribution down upon us that will make Soddom and Gamorah look like a tea party
• the end times are near, and Tim LaHaye's "Left Behind" books accurately describe what the end times will look like
• capitalism is inherently good
• our national debt is caused by African American welfare mothers who keep having children so they can get bigger welfare checks
• white makes right
• the South will rise again
• Bill Clinton was a bad President because he got a blowjob in the Oval Office from Monica Lewinsky
• Hilary Clinton is a lesbian
• Rudy Guliani is some kind of hero
• Saddam Hussein planned and organized the 9/11/01 attacks
• French people are cowards
• Bill O'Reilly is the most honest person on TV
• Friends was the funniest sitcom ever
• drug addicts are dangerous criminals
• owning a highpowered assault rifle is a Constitutionally protected right
• any woman who has an abortion is a murderer
• business in America is too greatly encumbered by taxes and regulations
• school vouchers will fix 100% of the problems with our public schools
• homosexuality is a disease and anyone who has HIV is being punished by God for their perverse sexuality
• J. Edgar Hoover and Roy Cohn were heterosexual
• Colin Powell is black
• George W. Bush and Dick Cheney always tell the truth

|||109815598919375154|||You might be a Republican...