Bachelor life…

Um, woo hoo, let the partay startay.

Not.

It’s been an interesting last day and a half. I’m now living alone again for the first time in close to five years. I don’t even have a cat to keep me company.

What’s worse is the state of my food stores. Someone on the Supersuckers’ list posted a photo of his dinner tonight. It forced me to take stock of my pantry. One word – grim.

I have a carton of grapefruit juice, a wilted head of lettuce, some vegetables that look like if I just gave them a charge with sufficient voltage I might be able to create primordial life, a couple of tubs of marscapone (and not really much of a clue what to do with them), the assorted typical condiments and about 40 jars of Greek olives. The last bit baffled me. When did we eat so many olives? Or rather, when did we think that if we bought this many olives that we’d eat them?

The freezer is even more comical. A bag of frozen rhubarb (?!?!?!), a very thoroughly frozen hunk of salmon, an even more thoroughly frozen halibut, a very severely frozen tenderloin of pork and some bits of chicken neck in little baggies. Should I choose to make rhubarb pie or some killer chicken stock I’m set.

The cupboard is in slightly better shape. I’ve got about four different kinds of pasta, some cans of tuna, a can of tomatoes and lots of jars of oregano.

*sigh*

The only room of the house that looks like I still live in it is the living room. That was theoretically my room, so it makes sense that it would basically look the same. The kitchen has been rent of all its character, and the little woman’s office is a barren husk with a couple of book mountains in it awaiting further sorting.

This is just sad. That’s all there is to it. Any comedy that’s occurring is purely accidental. I was tempted to throw my towel on the bathroom floor after showering this morning, but the fact is that even when I was truly single I didn’t do things like that. Heck, I haven’t intentionally left the toilet seat up anywhere since I was about 8 years old. I did fart unashamedly in the middle of the kitchen earlier this evening. How’s that for liberation.

I repeat. *sigh*

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