I crack me up…

I continue to just be flat out amused by the web. I’ve been mucking around with this whole interweb thingamadooty for well over a decade now and I’ve watched it change from something only nerds could love (essentially a pile of text with lots of hyperlinks – great for reading and lightweight research, not really useful for much of anything else) into what I started calling “slow TV” about six or seven years ago. But one thing has remained essentially the same about the web for as long as I can remember. Simply put, folks who use this thing the most are basically perverts.

What, you might ask, has led me to make this comment. Well, it’s like this…

About once a month I take a look at the server stats for the machine this blog lives on to see how many folks are reading my ramblings and also to see where they’re coming from. Along with those basic stats my hosting company allows me to see what sites they’re following links from to get here and what keywords they’re using on search engines that lead them to this blog. Last month was a doozy. The number two site referring people here is something called britneyspearsnude.com. If I was a comic book character I’d have had a big baloon over my head with stuff like this – !?!?!?!?!? – in bold inside. I’m baffled on about four levels by this. For one, I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned Britney except for in one article about what music was in the Billboard top 40. For another thing I’m just amazed that anyone still cares enough about the former teen queen to spend money maintaining a site devoted to such a topic. More baffling still is that such a site would contain a link to my blog. !?!?!?!?!?!

If I wasn’t nonplussed enough, while reviewing the search keywords that had led people here last month the second most searched topic that drew folks in was, prepare yourself, “hairless testicles.” Now I did, as a matter of fact, write a substantial entry from my Spring Training Journal that dwelled a bit on a trimmed nutsack, so I’m not really surprised that someone running such a search would end up here. But and however, I am a little disturbed to find out that not only a handful of people regularly go to Google and other search engines to run such a search, but that literally hundreds of folks do so on what appears to be a fairly consistent basis. Holy Christ on a cracker!!!

I’m sorry but you’re all a bunch of pervos. And seeing as how this obviously generates tons of traffic I simply cannot resist the urge to say bald scrotum, hairless testicles, shaved nutsack, shaven package and smooth balls. And while I’m at it, Britney Spears naked, Britney Spears’ boobies, Britney Spears in the altogether, Britney Spears nude and Britney holding a shaven nutsack.

Ah Monday.

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